Baltimore Harbor from Federal Hill Park, August 13, 2014
MD - August 12, 2014) Tomorrow will be one year already since we lost
my Mom. I cant keep from feeling sad this week, but I want most
of my focus to be on celebrating her life, and I regret not doing more
to preserve everyones memories in the weeks after she passed away.
I think everyone should write and collect stories about their loved ones.
We had so many great stories a year ago. I wanted to write them all down,
but life gets in the way, and you keep putting it off until you cant
remember them all anymore. Memories are the most important thing you can
pass on to your family. Your children and grandchildren can make money
and buy luxuries. If they manage money well, they will do well, and if
they cant manage money, what you leave them wont last anyway.
I would tell you not to just record that your father was an electrician
and your mother was a secretary, but write down those events that show
their personality, that show who they really were as a person.
For those of us still here, Im reminded
how short life is. My mother looked forward to all the things she would
be able to do in her retirement and spent years of that time sick and
in a wheelchair. I would tell you to figure out what you really want in
life, and all the steps you must take to get it. If you are not willing
to take those steps, I would tell you to find another dream, and to do
that sooner, rather than later. If you have a family, work out what you
want together. Dont spend your life just surviving. That wont
be the memory you will want in your final days, and I think spending those
last days with regret is one of the worse feelings someone can have.
A lot has happened over the past year. We
successfully fought to keep my mothers home in the family. We settled
the estate, and are still working on how to structure our future lives
and living arrangements. I ran for public office (unsuccessfully, but
I learned what I need to pursue that dream in the future). I find myself
re-evaluating whats important to me, and looking at how to get what
I really want out of life. I find myself wanting to be a better person.
I dont know for certain what happens when we leave this world, but
I dont want to hurt whatever chance I have of seeing my mother again.
This week, I find my mind wandering a lot, as it will be again in two
weeks on my mothers birthday. Im sad that we lost my Mom at
what I would consider a young age (just shy of 78), but more importantly,
Im grateful for all the years we had with her, and the number of
lives she touched. Those are memories I would like to keep for the rest
of my life.
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could we just do things my way?
You might see something good.
Try to work with me a little when I think you should.
There's been times you made me feel so happy, times you made me sad.
Though I know that you've never meant to, do anything that's bad.
this time and you barely know me.
Did you know there's so much to see?
Did you know whenever we're together, that you bring out the best in
Now my life is an open highway. Now you made me feel so free.
Did you know that once I met you, that you opened up the world for me?
I saw that from the beginning, I'd do all I can.
Finally put pieces together, so I understand.
There've been times you made me get so nervous, wondering what to do.
There've been times you made me feel heroic, always there for you.
want more than just a memory, just a footnote in the past.
There all kinds of possibilities. Something that I know could last.
You and I might go no further, or we may find that we're meant to be.
But since we met I know my guardian angel, is finally looking out for
had lost my guiding compass. Nothing out there seemed quite right.
Now I've found the road to victory. Once again I can see the light.
my life is an open highway. Now my path is open sea. Now the world is
an open doorway. There could be anything for me. Since you came, it
all seems so easy, since you showed me a way to live. I never thought
it would be so obvious. I'd forgotten I've so much to give. For you
and I, this may be all that happens, or we may find that we're meant
to be. But since we met I know my guardian angel, is finally looking
out for me.
©2005 Douglas R. Barry